It matters to me

Italy was always the dream. It was the one dream from my childhood which could never be taken away from me. And now, it has come true. I have been home now for three days, and whilst I did not fall in love with Italy itself, I feel I may have left a part of my heart somewhere within those Tuscan hills. I have shed a part of myself there and my essence has remained within the aging vines of vineyards that are older than my years.

Is this what revealing yourself is like? Is it like leaving a part of yourself behind so the person you want most to capture it, finds it? For he did find me. And he found the magic in my eyes, and that something which has always been so different about me. Even given the language barrier he has been able to convey this to me.

Does love always need to be conventional? Can it be something which knows no bounds nor distance? Can love be something that takes your breath away without you even noticing for it has been so subtle in its grasp?

I had felt that my life was standing still; waiting for the moment I stepped upon foreign soil for everything to change so dramatically. And yet, now I know that that was never going to happen. I am no longer standing still, and if I am what he says, his fate, he will find a way to get to me again.

So if it does not matter to the sun, what shade my eyes are in the light, how can it matter to me? And if it does not matter what distance stands between us, why should it matter to my heart? I want to go back. Back to the moment he asked me to stay. And I would have opened my heart right there in the night, beneath the stars.

At the time it seemed just like another night, until I sat alone in my room and thought about the words you said to me. And like the fool that I am, I finally understood, once the moment had passed. So it may not matter to the moon, but it matters to me.